two sides of a coin

The first time i saw a gun,
Dad called on me 'son'
This is what that makes us one,
To your enemies it eliminates like a burn,
When you fire the bullet in turn,
It was a G3 gun.

The 2nd time i saw it,
I was watching a movie called misfit,
I was proud coz i knew my dad did good,
He was a cop and was our source of food,
Atleast thats what i knew or what i should,
Until the truth clawed to me in nude.

He was a damn thug,
The master of a dangerous gang,
The notorious group that would suffocate air out of your lung,
Leave you dead when done.

I knew this painfully,
When a member of his gang mercilessly killed my mummy,
He was angry and couldnt look at my eyes,
His anger drove him for a revange mission,
To my tender young age i only had tension,
Confused by all the gossip mention,
Sombered by the death of light in my soul.

He came back blood on his clothes,
He said,
i dont expect you to understand this young man,
Police are on their way,
Ill be gone for many days,
I hope you get to learn,
Be a man of your own,
Use my gun if need be.

I became parentless,
My soul died and became faithless,
I didnt mind anyone i was careless,
I cried often till i became tearless,
All that now i have is,
His gun,
My guts,
His wealth,
My health,
His blood,
My world,
His silence,
My word,
I choose to be!